Top 5 Reasons I LOVE being #styledbymychild

Two weeks ago I did the unthinkable! I let my 8 year old daughter choose my ENTIRE outfit without a peep of input from me. No moaning. No groaning. No suggesting this over that. And the results were fantastic! Exhibit 1:

In fact, we had so much fun together (and I LOVED the outfit) we decided to do it the following week!

Exhibit 2:

And this time, we decided to make it a THING! By that I mean, we've turned it into a weekly series on Facebook and Instagram, where every Monday I'll post a pic of the outfit Raisa selected for me, and we'll use the hashtag #styledbymychild.

TOP 5 REASONS I love being #styledbymychild

1.  Quality Time with My Kid - in the hurry and flurry of life, it's incredibly important for me to set aside non-negotiable mama/child time with Raisa. We both look forward to this time together each week, and it's become something we talk about and look forward to all week long. Memories in the making, people!

2. Kid Confidence - Raisa feels so much pride when I say, "Hey babe, I want YOU to choose my outfit tomorrow, because I trust you'll choose something FABULOUS for me!"  She takes her task VERY seriously!

3. Conversation Starter - I always receive a few sideways glances and friendly smiles when I’m out walking around town with my kid-designed outfit. It’s such a GREAT opportunity to engage in fun, joy-filled conversations with absolute strangers! 

4. Feeling Wildly Courageous - wearing a kid-designed outfit takes guts. It takes WILD, FREE, WHOLE-HEARTED COURAGE. Being courageous takes practice, and this is a great opportunity for me to practice being wildly courageous!

5. Closet Curation - nothing has made me curate my closet faster than having my kid pick out my outfit! When Raisa pulls out those jeans I hate because they’re too damn small, or those orange tights I bought but can’t stand the sight of them… well, it reminds you to GET RID OF THE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

So there you have it! We’ve only done it a few times so far, but I can already this is gonna become a thing. We LOVE it so much! And I have a feeling that this one little exercise is going to change my life, because you can’t flex your BRAVE MUSCLE this much, and not have it change you!

xo Stasia

TOP 5 REASONS we Keep Stuff in our Closet that we Don't LIKE WANT OR NEED

Today we're going back to basics and talking about the act of LETTING GO! Because if I've heard it once, I've heard it 1000 times...  "I have a closet full of clothes but absolutely NOTHING to wear!"

This sentiment leaves one feeling superficial, shallow and trite.  "How in the world could I have so much stuff in my closet, yet at the same time, feel like I have absolutely nothing to wear." Sometimes, we grown ups even cry and throw grown-up temper-tantrums because we can't find anything to wear.  (Been there.  Done that.)

Lucky for you, I know why you've got a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. And because I was a science major in college, I'm going to break it down for you real scientifically, using advanced statistical analysis.

The problem you face is due to what's called The Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 Rule. Basically, it means that 80% of the output is determined by 20% of the input.

  • 80% of the meals you cook come from 20% of your recipes

  • 80% of your emails come from 20% of your contacts

  • 80% of the comments on my blog come from 20% of my readers

  • 80% of the outfits you wear come from 20% of your wardrobe

Did you catch that?  80% of what you wear comes from only 20% of your wardrobe.  That means 80% of your wardrobe is just sitting there, taking up space, not getting worn, and leaving you feeling every which way to GUILTY you can imagine.

It means that you don't even like (or know how to wear) 80% of what you own!

And that's crazy-town. But here's the thing... since I've spent a good deal of time in women's closets, I've learned that we have some pretty damn good reasons (ummm... read, excuses) we hold on to stuff we don't need, like or want. And after lots of consideration, I've come up with the TOP 5 REASONS we Keep Stuff we Don't NEED LIKE OR WANT.

1. But-I'm-Saving-It-For-When-I-Lose-Weight

There is no sure-fire way to get yourself into a bad mood than to stand in front of a closet filled with clothes that are TOO SMALL.All kinds of feelings will come up for you, and I can guarantee this - not one of them will be feelings of creativity, confidence, empowerment and beauty.

Do me a favor, and take all of your too-small clothes out of your closet.NOW!

So you had a smokin' hot body before babies, huh? I believe you. I know it's hard to let go of that memory of yourself. But here's the thing... YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. AS YOU ARE. RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT.

You don't have to ditch those too-small clothes if you honestly think you might fit into them again (be real with yourself here), but please take them out of the closet and stick them in a bin in your attic.

2. But-I-Paid-A-Lot-For-It

I feel you, but if you don't like whatever it is you paid a lot for, get it the hell out of your closet. It's really that simple. If you want to recoup some of the money you spent, then bring it to a consignment shop or sell it on eBay.

Or, simply let go of it.  Letting go brings its own tidal wave of abundance and riches.

3. But-It-Was-A-Gift

It's simple. There is no room in your closet for stuff you don't like. And let's face it... the only reason you're holding on to it is because you're afraid the gifter might ask you where it is.

NEWSFLASH:  Gift-giving is SUPPOSED to be a selfless act. I know many people don't practice selfless gift giving, but that certainly doesn't mean you have to carry the brunt of someone's inability to give selflessly.

If you can't bare selling or donating it, then think of something special you can do with it.  Can you up-cycle it into something fab? Can you re-gift it to your BFF that raves about it every time she looks into your closet?  Is there a family in need in your community that would love and value and appreciate it?

If you do something noble with that undesirable gift, then giving an explanation as to where it ended up won't hurt so badly.

4. But-I-Might-Need-It-Someday

Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. But you should be able to count on ONE HAND all of your "someday" pieces. Any more than that is just clutter.

5. But-I-Used-To-Love-It

One word.EXPIRED. It's okay to love something, then not love it any more. Things change. Bodies change. Jobs change. Life changes!A lot of women hold on to clothes from previous careers, because they don't want to let go of that past life. You know… that job where you made lots of money and felt really important.Holding onto your past will not give you validation of your worth today. Just like keeping clothes from your "skinny days" won't make you skinny and sexy and more worthy of love today.

Holding on to WHO YOU WERE will only distract you from fully embracing WHO YOU ARE today. 

If you go through your closet and eliminate everything that falls into the 5 categories above, you will DRAMATICALLY shift the 80-20 rule in your favor.

Don't get into thinking it needs to be an 8-hour monstrous closet clean out event either.

Today, do your socks drawer. Tomorrow, your t-shirt drawer. The day after that, your skirts.And then the next day, your dresses.Until you've gone through EVERY LAST THING you own.

You know that little voice inside your head that's saying you have far more important things to do with your time... recognize it, and then start cleaning out your closet with vigor. And that voice that's telling you to shut up and be happy with what you have... notice it, and then get shit done anyway. There is a demented, selfish, self-deprecating part of all of us that likes us to remain defeated, small, powerless and unworthy by pretending its got our best interest in mind... and it's hogwash. TOTAL HOGWASH.

Once you've gone through everything and have let go of all that clutter, you may or may not have a lot left in your closet. I know after my first major closet clean-out, I had 2 pairs of jeans, a handful of shirts, and a couple of sweaters left... and that was about it. But, GUILT was no longer filling my space. Opportunity was!

So go on, LET GO OF GUILT and create space in your closet for OPPORTUNITY.

xo Stasia

Do these pants make my butt look BIG?

You know just as well as I do that this is a weighted question, and the thought of having to answer this question puts people into an anxiety induced temporary state of shock… their heart rate increases, their brow begins to sweat, they experience rapid and shallow breathing, nausea and lightheadedness. They may even become weak at the knees and need to sit down. (Alright maybe that's a little melodramatic but you get the point!)

Why? Because no simple YES or NO answer will do.

If one answers YES to this question, it can drop us to our knees with feelings of irreparable inadequacy and a huge plummet in self esteem.

If one answers NO, we immediately don’t trust our informant and assume they are only saying NO to protect us from the feelings of irreparable inadequacy that I mentioned above.

This is why what I’m about to share is going to ROCK YOUR WORLD!

My husband came up with a fool-proof, completely objective, blame-it-on-the-pants-not-your-butt method of answering this question, and it’s a marriage saver!

We use a rating system.

My husband knows full-well what my derriere looks like, so the system is based on what is already known to be true - the actual size of my tush.

The PANTS (or jeans, skirt, dress) can either…

1.  Make my butt look smaller than it actually is.
2. Make my butt look its actual size.
3. Make my butt look bigger than it actually is.

Do you see what’s happening here… all judgement is placed on the PANTS, and NOT on my butt!!

There are all kinds of contributors that affect what your butt looks like in a pair of pants. Things like… pocket size, pocket placement, rise, color, embellishments, inseam length, fading, etc. change the visual perspective, big time. So it makes sense to take the onus off your booty, and place it where it belongs, ON THE PANTS.

Here’s how the rating system is put into practice:

Rating of 1 (butt looks smaller than it is) - These 3 pairs of pants fit into the “butt looks smaller” category, and not gonna lie, that does NOT hurt my feelings.

Rating of 2 (butt looks it’s actual size) - If they fell good and I love everything about them, then I’m sold, because I’m okay with m'tush looking like m'tush because it is, after all, m'tush.

Rating of 3 (butt looks bigger than it is) - sorry, no pictures to show you, because I don’t buy pants that make my butt look bigger than my butt. My measurements are 30 - 30 - 40 so my butt is already stealing the show!

Do you see how brilliant this is?? There is no YES or NO required with 10,000 strings attached. There is simply a scale, based on factual, known, true, non-subjective data.

If you don’t believe in the success of this rating system, just listen to what my husband has to say:

“Honesty, integrity and dealing with conflict are some of my strengths. But answering “Yes, those jeans make your butt look big,” regardless of how honest this was, always seemed to bring unnecessary conflict. So in an effort to creatively resolve this conflict I’ve designed and patented (United States Patent #147329) this classic rating-system-response that works effortlessly. Stasia no longer dreads the response but actually solicits it as valuable information to help make purchases, decide what to wear to a party, etc. I encourage you to share this with your significant other. You’ll both be forever grateful!”

So go on, propose this new rating system to that special person in your life if you'd like an honest-to-goodness answer to the question, "Do these pants make my butt look big?".

xo Stasia

Caught In a Trap

I'm not proud to say it, but TWICE this week I didn't comb my hair, brush my teeth (until bed time), or wash my face. And nope, it's not because I was in an emotional funk. Or because I was sad or depressed or angry.

I got dressed in my favorite jeans and hot pink J.Crew sweater (yes, I wore the same thing two days in a row), but I STILL didn't have the energy or desire to pull my head (hair, teeth, face) together. This confused me. It was SO unlike me to wear a tried and true power outfit, and still not have the oomph to even brush my teeth!!

Since it's my job to figure out this kind of style-conundrum, I quickly treated this experience as a very highly classified investigative psychological case study. And here's what I came up with.

I was "CAUGHT IN A TRAP".

Because as it turns out, those favorite jeans, stripy button down shirt and hot pink cardi have turned into a... UNIFORM.

I mean look, I have FIVE HOT PINK CARDIGANS, and I wear them with the same ruffle-shirts and jeans, every-single-time!

Pink-Sweaters.png

It was an outfit I could put on without much thought, knowing it had proven itself to be a winner. I figured that if it made me feel good last year, then it would make me feel good this year too. To my surprise, quite the OPPOSITE happened.

I felt uncreative, boring, and flat.

Using my investigative analytical powers of deduction, I realized that the outfit had reached its expiry date! Big time. It became a default, has-been, closet-combo. The newness had worn off. The creativity and fire and spark - GONE.

SO HERE'S THE DEAL. I NEED TO MIX THINGS UP!

The daily uniform has to go.

I could go on a shopping spree and buy a new thrifted wardrobe for under $100, but I know that I've got good pieces to work with, so I just need to GET CREATIVE!

So here's what WE are going to do TOGETHER:

(NOTE - this is old, from when I had my Thrift Me Pretty blog, but the concept here is a good one!)

Yep, we're going to do a Thrift Me Pretty USE-WHAT-YOU-GOT 14-Day Style Challenge.

You see all those songs up there, we're going to use THOSE as our outfit inspiration each day. I figured since I was "caught in a trap" (Elvis Presley, Suspicious Minds, BEST SONG EVER) that a little lyrical inspiration was in order.

And I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander... because I KNOW I'm not the only one feeling stuck.

Style challenges are not revolutionary... you've likely seen them floating around on social media. But, there’s a reason they’re popular. It’s because THEY WORK!

HOW A STYLE CHALLENGE WORKS:

1. Take a screen shot of this graphic and save it on your desktop or your phone for easy 14-day reference. 2. Use your very own interpretation of the daily lyrical style cue to inspire your outfit-of-the-day. Think era, artist, title, lyrics. Whatever moves you!
3. BE CREATIVE!! Wicked, wicked creative.

Feeling self conscious? Grab a co-worker and do it together.
Don’t like my song choices? Create our own play-list.
Worried you need MORE than a Style Challenge to find your groove? Sign up for Style School!

We do Style Challenges like this EVERY.SINGLE.DAY in Style School, and let me tell you, they are FUN when done in community!

LOVE, Stasia