Today we're going back to basics and talking about the act of LETTING GO! Because if I've heard it once, I've heard it 1000 times... "I have a closet full of clothes but absolutely NOTHING to wear!"
This sentiment leaves one feeling superficial, shallow and trite. "How in the world could I have so much stuff in my closet, yet at the same time, feel like I have absolutely nothing to wear." Sometimes, we grown ups even cry and throw grown-up temper-tantrums because we can't find anything to wear. (Been there. Done that.)
Lucky for you, I know why you've got a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. And because I was a science major in college, I'm going to break it down for you real scientifically, using advanced statistical analysis.
The problem you face is due to what's called The Pareto Principle, or the 80-20 Rule. Basically, it means that 80% of the output is determined by 20% of the input.
- 80% of the meals you cook come from 20% of your recipes
- 80% of your emails come from 20% of your contacts
- 80% of the comments on my blog come from 20% of my readers
- 80% of the outfits you wear come from 20% of your wardrobe
Did you catch that? 80% of what you wear comes from only 20% of your wardrobe. That means 80% of your wardrobe is just sitting there, taking up space, not getting worn, and leaving you feeling every which way to GUILTY you can imagine.
It means that you don't even like (or know how to wear) 80% of what you own!
And that's crazy-town. But here's the thing... since I've spent a good deal of time in women's closets, I've learned that we have some pretty damn good reasons (ummm... read, excuses) we hold on to stuff we don't need, like or want. And after lots of consideration, I've come up with the TOP 5 REASONS we Keep Stuff we Don't NEED LIKE OR WANT.
There is no sure-fire way to get yourself into a bad mood than to stand in front of a closet filled with clothes that are TOO SMALL. All kinds of feelings will come up for you, and I can guarantee this - not one of them will be feelings of creativity, confidence, empowerment and beauty.
Do me a favor, and take all of your too-small clothes out of your closet. NOW!
So you had a smokin' hot body before babies, huh? I believe you. I know it's hard to let go of that memory of yourself. But here's the thing... YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL. AS YOU ARE. RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT.
You don't have to ditch those too-small clothes if you honestly think you might fit into them again (be real with yourself here), but please take them out of the closet and stick them in a bin in your attic.
I feel you, but if you don't like whatever it is you paid a lot for, get it the hell out of your closet. It's really that simple. If you want to recoup some of the money you spent, then bring it to a consignment shop or sell it on eBay.
Or, simply let go of it. Letting go brings its own tidal wave of abundance and riches.
It's simple. There is no room in your closet for stuff you don't like. And let's face it... the only reason you're holding on to it is because you're afraid the gifter might ask you where it is.
NEWSFLASH: Gift-giving is SUPPOSED to be a selfless act. I know many people don't practice selfless gift giving, but that certainly doesn't mean you have to carry the brunt of someone's inability to give selflessly.
If you can't bare selling or donating it, then think of something special you can do with it. Can you up-cycle it into something fab? Can you re-gift it to your BFF that raves about it every time she looks into your closet? Is there a family in need in your community that would love and value and appreciate it?
If you do something noble with that undesirable gift, then giving an explanation as to where it ended up won't hurt so badly.
Maybe that's true. Maybe it's not. But you should be able to count on ONE HAND all of your "someday" pieces. Any more than that is just clutter.
One word. EXPIRED. It's okay to love something, then not love it any more. Things change. Bodies change. Jobs change. Life changes! A lot of women hold on to clothes from previous careers, because they don't want to let go of that past life. You know… that job where you made lots of money and felt really important. Holding onto your past will not give you validation of your worth today. Just like keeping clothes from your "skinny days" won't make you skinny and sexy and more worthy of love today.
Holding on to WHO YOU WERE will only distract you from fully embracing WHO YOU ARE today.
If you go through your closet and eliminate everything that falls into the 5 categories above, you will DRAMATICALLY shift the 80-20 rule in your favor.
Don't get into thinking it needs to be an 8-hour monstrous closet clean out event either.
Today, do your socks drawer. Tomorrow, your t-shirt drawer. The day after that, your skirts. And then the next day, your dresses. Until you've gone through EVERY LAST THING you own.
You know that little voice inside your head that's saying you have far more important things to do with your time... recognize it, and then start cleaning out your closet with vigor. And that voice that's telling you to shut up and be happy with what you have... notice it, and then get shit done anyway. There is a demented, selfish, self-deprecating part of all of us that likes us to remain defeated, small, powerless and unworthy by pretending its got our best interest in mind... and it's hogwash. TOTAL HOGWASH.
Once you've gone through everything and have let go of all that clutter, you may or may not have a lot left in your closet. I know after my first major closet clean-out, I had 2 pairs of jeans, a handful of shirts, and a couple of sweaters left... and that was about it. But, GUILT was no longer filling my space. Opportunity was!
So go on, LET GO OF GUILT and create space in your closet for OPPORTUNITY.
You know that I'm here to help and encourage you through this process. Or more accurately, I'm here to give you a swift kick in the pants if that's what you need to make it happen. :) Tough love, baby. Tough love.
Email me. Comment on the blog. Chat me up on Facebook or Instagram. Get involved. Take action. Let me know WHO YOU ARE!
PS. I'm for hire too, if you're super serious and ready to take this to the next level! You won't regret it! xo