How to Wear Jeans + a T-shirt and still look CUTE!

I'm a jeans and t-shirt gal. Always have been. Probably always will be. In the past, before I figured out this whole style 'thang, my jeans and t-shirt look was... simple. It was comfortable, but it sure wasn't cute.

Comfortable used to be my litmus. The ONLY factor I considered when getting dressed. Then I discovered Inside-Out Congruency, and realized I was selling myself short.

OF COURSE I WANT TO BE COMFORTABLE. I'm NOT a fan of pants that make my crotch hurt when I sit down, or shirts that I have to keep tugging on because the booby darts are fitting me in the wrong place.

So may I present to you my latest jeans and t-shirt combo, that is comfortable AND cute!

I'm wearing one of my FAV (comfy) t-shirts that I thrifted this summer.  It HAD a crewneck... until I cut the neck out and made it a wee bit more edgy. Then I paired it with a (comfortable) fits-me-perfectly black blazer, sleeves rolled and collar popped, and slipped on my faaavorite no-muffin-top-here bootcut jeans.

At first I accessorized with a long necklace and a pair of tear-drop-shaped earrings, but something was off. There was a lack of harmony between the tear-drop-shape of the earrings and the looooong necklace, so I swapped out the tear-drops for these looooong earrings and knew immediately I had a winner!  The long line of the necklace needed an accompanying long line!

But something was still off, so I studied my look in the mirror for a second and realized aha - the neckline on the tee was a little low, so I layered on another, shorter necklace and voila... PERFECT!

I felt bold, confident, edgy and a little mysterious all day.  ;)  Oh, and comfortable.

Now do me a favor and scan over my outfit description above, noticing ONLY THE HIGHLIGHTED WORDS.

When you get dressed in jeans and a tee, are you doing any of these quick 10 second steps? Could you imagine yourself doing them?

Sometimes we THINK feeling good in our clothes takes a TON of effort, when really, a few ten-second-tweaks here and there can make ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

Style begins on the INSIDE, we all know that - but it's the little details of how we put things together on the outside that pull it all together.

xo Stasia

Pattern Mixing Made Easy!!

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times! "How do you know which patterns to mix together, Stasia? I can't figure it out! Every time I try, I look like I got dressed in the dark."

There are lots of "pattern mixing" rules out there. Magazine articles will show you 25 ways to mix patterns like a pro, which if you ask me, just leads to overwhelm and a feeling of fashion-inadequacy. So, I'm going to make pattern mixing real simple for you and focus on only two things - PATTERN SCALE + COLOR.

PATTERN SCALE

There are two kinds of patterns: MAJOR PATTERNS + MINOR PATTERNS. MAJOR PATTERNS can be seen clearly from over 5 feet away. Minor Patterns blend in when viewed from 5 feet away.

Hold on to your seat because I'm about to rock your world. The trick to beginner pattern mixing is that you want to mix a MAJOR PATTERN with a minor pattern. NOT two MAJOR PATTERNS. NOT two minor patterns. But a MAJOR PATTERN and a minor pattern. That's it.

MAJOR-minor.

(Hold on, I'll show you what I mean in a second.)

COLOR

When you’re first diving into pattern mixing, you might wanna consider keeping your patterns in the same color family.

I've pulled together some pics so you can see what I'm talking about.

Example 1
Scale - MAJOR PATTERN: PLAID PANTS / minor pattern: polka dotted shirt
Color - the shirt that I'm wearing is white with black polka dots, and in the world of pattern mixing, black and white is basically a neutral, because it pretty much goes with anything!
Note - I've read that you can't pattern mix with plaids, but that's bananas. Of course you can.

Example 2
Scale - MAJOR PATTERN: PLAID TIE / minor pattern: gingham check shirts
Color - the blue found in the shirt is ALSO found in the tie, plus, that blue/white/green combo totally "goes" together. 

Example 3
Scale - MAJOR PATTERN: FLORAL SHIRT / minor pattern: silk scarf
Color - both patterns are cream/black so you've got instant harmony right there

Example 4
Scale - MAJOR PATTERN: FLORAL TUNIC / minor pattern: striped sweater
Color - the chartreuse-white color combo found in the sweater is also found in the tunic, making the florals and stripes easy on the eye, despite their loudness

Example 5
Scale - MAJOR PATTERN: STRIPED SWEATER / minor pattern: polka dot shirt
Color - once again, black and white is a pattern/color neutral here, and goes effortlessly with the chartreuse and white stripes.
Note - see how the striped chartreuse sweater is the "major pattern" here, where in the photo above, it was the "minor pattern"!

There are of course other, more BOLD ways to mix patterns that you can explore and play with…

But if you’re just starting out, and you want some easy tips to follow, hold tight to the major-minor rule + shared color palette and start playing!

Anyway, now that you've read this far, it's time I tell you that the acquisition of knowledge requires action. In other words, I want you to practice.

TOMORROW, I want you to try pattern mixing. If you follow the MAJOR-minor / stay-in-the-same-color-family rule-of-thumb, you'll come up with a winning combination for sure!

Think for a moment how many NEW OUTFITS you can create, OUT OF WHAT YOU ALREADY OWN, if you can master the art of pattern mixing!!  You can actually expand your wardrobe without spending a dime!!!

xo Stasia

PS. This is the kind of goodness we practice daily in Stasia's Style School!

HOW TO wear Jeans and a Cardi and NOT look like you're wearing a mommy uniform!

The Mommy Uniform. Ahhhhhhh! After my daughter was born, I sunk into the JEANS + CARDI mommy uniform. It might as well have been droopy yoga pants and a hoodie because it did NOTHING for me. Well, it did for about a minute, until I started wearing the same plain t-shirt/cardi/jeans combo over and over again, without any knowledge of how to mix it up and keep it vibrant.

I've got pep. And spunk. And zip. And I wasn't feeling ANY it.

Thankfully, I became a personal stylist and figured it all out through lots of trial and error.  ;)

So now let's talk about HOW TO WEAR JEANS & A CARDI and not look like you're wearing a tired mommy uniform.

It's not hard to do. And you don't need a million cardigans to pull it off either.

To illustrate my point, I'm wearing the SAME JEANS AND CARDIGAN in three completely different looks - keeping things fresh and spunky!

LOOK ONE

MIX PATTERNS - you can almost never go wrong when you're mixing polka dots and stripes, so if you're new to pattern mixing, start there! REPEAT PATTERNS - there is something visually calming to the eye when repeat patterns are seen (in an outfit, or nature, or a living room). It's cohesion at its finest. Notice how I wore earrings that repeated the same polka dot pattern found in my shirt!!

LOOK TWO

ADD 3D TEXTURE - don't just throw on a plain cotton t-shirt for goodness sake, wear something with a little bit of three dimensional texture! Shirts with ruffles, scrunches or ruches are a dime a dozen at thrift stores (and retail stores), so make sure you've got a few in your closet for some additional vavavavoom.

REPEAT PATTERNS - Did you notice how my bracelet is repeating the same pattern as the stripes in the sweater? Coincidence? Hardly!!

Or how my wire human-form-earrings pair nicely with the wire-woven necklace I'm wearing? ADORN WITH FUNKY JEWELRY - my earrings, necklace and bracelet add character and whim to my look, without overpowering the outfit.

LOOK THREE

WEAR JEWELRY THAT STEELS THE SHOW - sometimes, our clothing can settle into the background while our accessories do all the work. Like a lobster is simply a vehicle for butter, the jeans + cardi combo here are simply a vehicle for some BOLD STATEMENT jewelry.

ADD TEXTURE - this time of the shiny variety! Throw in some metallics to liven things up, and do it more than once, as seen here with my silver shirt AND silver earrings.

Easy RIGHT?

Mix + Repeat Patterns. Add Texture, 3D and otherwise. Wear Jewelry that either Steals the Show or acts as a great set of back-up vocals.

Of course, you also have to make sure that your jeans fit (and don't give you muffin top) and your cardigans aren't too long or too short for your body shape. Baggy jeans with a too long cardi probably won’t give you the FEELS you wanna FEEL.

In case you're wondering, we practice THIS KINDA STUFF in Stasia's Style School, every single day, for five whole weeks! Yep, I said practice. Because learning how to do this TAKES PRACTICE!

xo Stasia

Why I Retreated into the Mountains for Black Friday

Hello Friends! I'm writing to you from a mountain lodge, nestled in the heart of the White Mountains, New Hampshire, for a long weekend of outdoor adventure with my family.

One might think I'd be out throwing elbows to save a few bucks at a giant box store, but when I saw the Verizon commercial that renamed Thanksgiving, ThanksGETTING, I got mad, and said NO WAY.

TOO FAR. NOT GONNA DO IT.

But the thing is, temptation had me looking at the flyers on Thursday morning. The deals WERE good. And in a matter of minutes, I had a list of things I NEEDED to buy. For me, my kids, and my husband. Sure, I was going to save a good $300, but I was going to have to spend about $500 to save that $300.

NEED. It was like an insidious monster, seeping into my brain!!

And then I remembered the book, "The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing" and I came back to my senses.

(Have you read it? If not, reserve it at your local library, pronto!!)

The premise of the book is that you shouldn't have anything in your home that doesn't "bring you joy". And I mean anything!!

I got my husband and kids on board this spring, and we "Kon-Maried" (the author's name has turned into a verb) our entire house/garage/basement and got rid of SO. MUCH. STUFF.

Books. Microwave. Clothes. Toys (lots of toys). Linens. Pottery. Picture Frames. Games. Even our toaster - because the crumbs drove me bananas!

It was pretty incredible to see how much useless and unnecessary STUFF we had when we actually held everyTHING in our hands and assessed its does-this-bring-me-joy value.

THIS WAS ALL STUFF WE NEEDED WHEN IT WAS ON SALE!! Stuff we bought for our kids or each other because of a gift giving obligation. Stuff that was GIFTED to us because of somebody else's gift giving obligation.

I reminds me of this quote I saw on a greeting card recently...

"ONLY A FEW MORE SHOPPING DAYS LEFT UNTIL YOUR LOVED ONES FIND OUT HOW LITTLE YOU UNDERSTAND THEM."

STUFF STUFF STUFF.

I'd say that about half the stuff in our house made us say, "eh".

No joy.

So out it went. We had a yard sale, but after 30 minutes of charging money, we started giving that stuff away.

TAKE IT. TAKE IT. TAKE IT!!!

We were cleaned out in no time, because we were giving away some really nice, really expensive stuff!!

And now... we only bring things into our house that pass the "does this bring me RED HOT CHEEKY joy" litmus test.

If gifts don't pass the test, they don't make it in the door.

My house is a bajillion times easier to clean. It's WAY more organized - because everything has a PLACE. And it's happier, because everywhere I look, I see happy things.

What I'm trying to say is this.

Please, don't buy to buy. Don't give to give.

If it's not the PERFECT THING, don't do it. Because you'll just be burdening somebody with a thing and then they'll feel guilty getting rid of that thing because it was a gift.

Shop wisely. Buy local. Give love.

xo Stasia

How to Choose a Power Outfit

I'm having a vulnerable moment. Right now. Right this minute. So I figured... I better start writing, because there's some real honesty flowing right now. On Wednesday morning, bright and early, I'm hopping in the car and driving south to Providence, RI to attend the Business Innovation Factory (BIF) Summit. I'm shitting pickles just thinking about it.

This is a 2 day, $2000 conference, filled with some of the smartest people IN THE WORLD. I'm talking MIT smart. I just checked the attendee list, and I had to stop reading after page 3 because I started to feel like a chump.

Here's why:

Deborah Schimberg, CEO, Glee Gum / Gil Pepi, Chief Strategy Officer, Children's Hospital Colorado / Jamie Casap, Chief Education Evangelist, Google, Inc. / Stasia Savasuk, Personal Stylist/Founder of Stasia's Style School / Georgina Melone, VP of Imbedded Innovation, Hasbro / Brian Goodman, Innovation Manager, City of Boston

Seriously. I could die.

They were giving away a few tickets if you submitted a pitch as to WHY you should be there, and I was selected.

Maybe because the gal that recommended I submit a pitch is friends with the founder... or maybe it was because my pitch was really good.

I don't want to think about which.

If I'm not careful, I could be that girl in the corner, pretending to be doing something really important on her phone, when in reality... I'm just suffering from a serious case of WTF-am-I-doing-here.

The only other conference I've been to as a Personal Stylist is ALT Summit. It's filled with creative types (bloggers, business coaches, other stylists, etc.) who love tulle, red lipstick, unicorns and confetti. Sure, I was nervous the first time I went in June 2014, feeling a little inferior because I had about 12 followers, a 1-day old DIY website, and a closet full of thrifted clothes. But I got over it REAL FAST, made some amazing connections, and had a total blast. In fact, I've been back twice since then.

This is NOT to say that the gals at ALT were not also MIT smart. They were brilliant, innovative, powerhouses of hustle, running BIG companies and making LOTS of money. Maybe it was the red lipstick that connected us. Or maybe it was just humanity.

Hmmm.

But what about this time? Will I find my people at BIF? Will I fit in? What if they laugh at me... Personal Stylist. Bah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

See that... THAT'S BAD THINKING!!! I'm setting myself up to sit in the corner. I'm setting an expectation that they WON'T like me, that I'm not smart enough, not innovative enough, and that kind of do-you-think-I'm-cool energy is pitiful and not attractive.

So I'm going to head to my closet right now, and choose something that connects me to my BRAVERY, POWER AND CONFIDENCE.

[PAUSE]

OK. I’m back. I’ve found THE OUTFIT that I’m going to wear to BIF. And I’m going to show you how I spiffed up an ok dress, and accessorized for different temperatures!

1 - no accessories and BORING
2 - great if it's really warm
3 - perfect if it's a little bit chilly
4 - love it if I'm freezing cold

Just like that, I’m feeling CONFIDENT about the conference. This may not be my typical venue, but think how fortunate I am, to be surrounded by such brilliant minds!

Hopefully, I'll come back with some amazing tools and maybe, just maybe, I'll become one of those fancy pants "founders" on that list someday.

It’s normal to get intimidated from time to time. My Q for you is, DO YOU HAVE A POWER OUTFIT THAT YOU PULL OUT WHEN YOU'RE FEELING WEEK AT THE KNEES?

If you don’t, you just might wanna consider joining the next session of Stasia's Style School! You’ll walk about with a whole pile them, using clothes you already have in your closet!

xo Stasia

FLIRT more. FIDGET less.

I’m gonna come right out and say it... there's a good chance you're wearing clothes that are TOO BIG for you. Sounds bold, doesn't it, to assert such a thing, when I don't even know you. But I've been paying attention lately to women and their wardrobes, and it's a phenomenon I'm seeing EVERYWHERE.

And what intrigues me the most, is that most women don't even know their clothes don't fit properly.

Wearing TOO BIG clothing usually means...

1. You’re trying to HIDE your body

2. You’re wearing the WRONG cut/style/silhouette for your body shape

3. You’re unsure HOW clothes are SUPPOSED to fit

4. You’ve stopped caring, because it’s TOO DAMN COMPLICATED

There is a (slight) chance that TOO BIG clothing is an aesthetic that you truly LOVE, and it makes you feel sexy, confident, elusive, and straight-up badass. BUT, this is an exception. NOT the rule. Women tell me all the time that too-big is “their style” and they love it... but it’s bologna. Their body language tells me otherwise.

Do you want to know HOW I KNOW when somebody is fooling themselves into thinking TOO BIG is their style?

They TUG!! They adjust and pull, shift and shimmy, tug and tussle.

(Pay attention to YOUR body language. Do YOU do that???)

All that fidgeting happens so frequently, it takes me about 10 seconds to see what's happening. It's as plain as day, when you know the tell tale signs.

A few weeks ago my husband and I went out to dinner (date night... WOOO!) and we were sitting I-can-hear-your-whole-conversation close to another couple. They were on a first date (you could tell by the conversation), and the woman, who was sitting next to me, was clearly very nervous. She was tall, beautiful, curvy… and completely uncomfortable in her fancy date-night outfit. I could see that she was spending WAY MORE TIME fidgeting with her clothing, than paying attention to her cutie-pie date.

She seemed to enjoy his company (the giggling and blushing told me that), so I don’t think it was a get-me-the-hell-out-of-here-because-you’re-a-total-creep kind of fidget. It was a I’m-ashamed-of-my-body kind of fidget.

I'm practically an expert at spotting this type of fidget. Because it's so damn common.

It took every ounce of strength that I had not to do an intervention. Right there. Right then.

With a few quick tips and a little bit of know-how, she could have ROCKED her date-night outfit and spent MORE TIME FLIRTING, AND LESS TIME FIDGETING.

If I had done a 5-minute intervention, here's what I would have told her:

1. Your shoulder seam should hit you at the curve of your actual shoulder, not above or below. Don't waiver on this (unless your shirt is of the dropped shoulder variety, like this one).

2. Your boobie-buttons should never pull. Ever.

3. In most cases, muffin-top is completely avoidable. Make sure your jeans/pants/shorts are long enough in the rise for YOUR body, AND be sure to wear the right sized pants! TOO-BIG pants will slouch, fall and result in muffin top, and TOO SMALL pants will sqeeze you in too tight and ALSO result in muffin top.

Pants are hard. I get it. They are hard for almost everybody. Buck up, and find pants that fit.

4. STOP TRYING TO HIDE!! It doesn't work. In fact, it can actually ACCENTUATE exactly what you're trying to hide. DON'T DO THAT. I see women tug their shirts way down to hide their hips and rump all the time (see picture below). IT DOESN'T WORK! It actually makes your hips look W-I-D-E-R.

5. Avoid baggy-boob-darts if you can. My breasts are small and low on my body, so I know the Herculean effort it takes to find shirts/jackets/dresses that don't give you puckery-boobie-darts.

6. Sleeves that are too long look frumpy. If you LOVE your wrists (many women do) keep your sleeves short and show off those wrists! (Plus, shorter sleeves make your legs look longer. No joke!)

And p-lease, I don't want to hear any... it's easy for YOU, Stasia. But my body is different.

Do you have any idea how many pairs of jeans I tried on before I found the cut/style/brands that fit my body? Over 100. ONE. HUNDRED.

Do you know how many shirts I've put back on the rack because the boobie-darts were designed for breasts WAY larger than mine. About a million.

THIS is EXACTLY why my wardrobe is so small. Because it's HARD to find stuff that fits MY body. I don't get discouraged or pissed off. I have enough, and I don’t need more in my closet than “enough”.

Start paying attention to how you interact and engage with your clothing. Do you tug and pull? Yank and shimmy? If you do (and I'm guessing you probably do), STOP and ask yourself WHY.

xo Stasia

Does Cellulite Make My Smile Less JOY-FILLED?

Does CELLULITE make my smile any less JOY-FILLED? Sounds like a ridiculous question, doesn't it? I mean, what in heck does cellulite have to do with my smile?? What does cellulite have to do with my capacity to love? What does cellulite have to do with my damn laughter!!

Here's the answer: EVERYTHING... and nothing at all.

Yesterday I posted this picture to Instagram and Facebook with the following caption:

“My daughter took this picture of me tonight. She said i looked beautiful. When I looked at the picture, I saw cellulite. Bah. I bit my tongue and said, “thank you baby” and realized how beautiful the world is through her eyes. My first reaction was to deny her the gift of giving a compliment and say… but look at my thighs!! It takes practice to say thank you without a rebuttal… to accept kindness. Let’s all practice together, shall we. THANK YOU Raisa for seeing my laughter and love and joy-filled heart.”

It was the most liked photograph I've EVER posted to Instagram... and I've posted 358 pictures to Instagram. As of this minute, that photo has reached over 27,500 views on Facebook. If you know anything about organic reach on a FB business page, that number is INSANE, given my relatively small "following".

What that tells me is that I AM NOT ALONE.

It tells me that though the world sees us from the Inside-Out, we see ourselves from the Outside-In.

Others see our beauty and grace and kindness and laughter... despite our perceived "imperfections". They see us play with our kids, love our partners, and be ambassadors of bliss and beauty. They apply that perception to the whole of us. They see beauty.

We see our flaws. Our imperfections. Our saggy boobies, fluffy tummies, cellulite-y thighs and jiggly arms. We take that image and give it value. And then we take that value and we apply it to the whole of us. We see flaws.

I'm sorry gals... but WHAT THE HELL?

It needs to stop, and it needs to STOP NOW!

Easier said than done, right?  I get it.

Anything that's wicked wicked hard takes a shit-ton of practice, and that practice MUST start right this very minute. I'm not messing around, either. RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

The next time you receive a compliment, I want you to smile graciously (even if it's a little bit fake) and say "thank you". NO REBUTTAL. NOTHING. NOT A DAMN WORD.  (Unless of course, it's to gush over whatever it is they are complimenting you on.)

But NO disclaimers. No denying their truth. No excuses. No caveats.

Just sit with it. KNOW that they are seeing you from the Inside-Out.

When somebody compliments your dress, know that it's really NOT ABOUT THE DRESS!! It's about how you carry yourself in that dress. It's your grace and laughter and kindness and love - all wrapped up into one little ball - and the dress is simply the vehicle for that compliment.

Part of me wants to say... "If not for you, do it for your kids.” Because we’ll do ANYTHING for our kids.

But I'm not gonna say that. I'm gonna say this instead:

DO IT FOR YOU!!

OF COURSE we want our kids to see themselves as beautiful. OF COURSE we won’t want our kids to become paralyzed by negative body image/perception. OF COURSE we want our kids to grow up to be healthy, confident and loving beings.  BUT DON'T YOU WANT THAT FOR YOURSELF TOO??

Kids are perceptive, and they'll know if you're "doing it for them". They might not see it when they're younger, but as they get older, they'll call your bluff.

I'm not an expert, but I'm practicing. And I'm getting better.

A year ago, I would have NEVER posted that picture. A year ago, I would have resisted the urge to say "but look at my thighs" FOR MY KIDS, but this time, I DID IT FOR ME.

I’ve got a challenge for you. The next time somebody compliments you...

• DO NOT deny the compliment

• Smile and say "thank you"

• Relish in the fact that they truly SEE YOU, from the Inside-Out

xo Stasia

PS. This is the kind of content we cover in Stasia's Style School, because let's face it, SOOO MUCH of knowing and owning YOUR STYLE has NOTHING to do with the clothes!

Stasia's Top 10 Thrifting Tips

I am a thrifter, through and through. In fact, 90% of wardrobe is thrifted, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Not only do I love the hunt, but I love the money savings, AND the environmental and social ethics behind it. I mean, there is SO MUCH STUFF already in circulation, I see no reason to contribute to the waste-cycle of consumerism that’s killing not just our environment, but the people who are making those clothes in substandard factories.

Gals are always lamenting to me that they can’t find anyyyything good at thrift stores, or they don’t realize until they get home that the treasure they THOUGHT they bought is actually a piece of garbage. So, I figured it was high time I share with you my TOP 10 THRIFTING TIPS.

They are tried and true. And I utilize them every.single.time I head into a thrift store.

But before I begin, I want to make sure you know the difference between a Thrift Store and a Consignment Store... because though they both sell second-hand clothing, they are NOT the same.

Thrift Store - a store that sells second hand clothing and household items, typically to raise money for a charitable organization. The Goodwill and the Salvation Army are two well-known examples, but there are thousands of local thrift stores that benefit local non-profits.

You know that Thrift Store song by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis?  "I'm gonna pop some tags, I got $20 in my pocket...". Yea, it's like that.

Click Image to Watch Video. It's awesome. (WARNING: F-BOMBS included)

Consignment Store - a store that sells second hand items (usually clothing and accessories, but sometimes hard-goods too) on behalf of the original owner, who then gets a certain cut, or percentage, of the sale price.

Let's break it down further...

Thrift Store - proceeds (usually) go to charity. It’s less expensive than consignment, but sometimes you gotta sift through lots of junk.

Consignment Store - proceeds go to seller and store owner. It’s more expensive than a thrift store, but also more curated.

Now let's get down to brass tacks.

STASIA'S TOP 10 THRIFTING TIPS

1. Pit Stains & Ring Around the Collar (ewww) - always look for BOTH pit stains AND ring around the collar with lighter colored shirts.  Take the garment over to the window where you can do a good pit/neck band inspection under natural light conditions. If you see yellowing, PUT IT BACK!

2. Zippers - if the garment, shoe or boot has a zipper, TRY IT. Make sure it works. And make sure there isn't any funky fabric that might get stuck in the zipper. Try the zipper with the garment/shoe/boot on your body because sometimes it's all in the angle that you're zipping from.

3. Buttons & Snaps - if it's got buttons or snaps, make sure you account for all of them, and make sure they all work. If you can sew, and a button is missing, see if there is a hide-a-button somewhere that you can use. Also, make sure that all the buttons fit through the button holes. I've found a number of like-new pants at the thrift store with buttons that don't fit through the button holes!

4. Price Tags - these are most often attached to a products seam or brand label via a feather/barb or staple. But sometimes, a careless employee will shoot/staple right through the fabric, leaving a big old ugly hole right in the product itself.

5. Pockets - be sure to put your hands in all the pockets to make sure your fingers don't slide all the way through.

6. Hems - always look for loose hems. Especially with jersey knit shirts. The first hem to go (seems to me) is the hem at the bottom of the shirt. I've bought SOOO many shirts over the years with loose/undone bottom hems that have literally fallen apart in my first post-thrift-store wash. Turn your garments inside out before purchasing to check that all seams and hems are solid.

7. Pills - I hate them. If a sweater or shirt has pills on it, there are two things you need to decide. 1. Do you want to take the time to de-pill the garment? 2. Do you even want a garment that pills (and will need de-pilling) in the first place? Not me!

8. NWT - be leary. Just because something is New With Tags, doesn't mean you've hit the jackpot. There might be a very good reason why somebody donated it in the first place. Like, it was sewn together all wonky and fits crooked. Or, it's got a slice in it from where the purchaser used scissors to open the mail order package, and cut a hole right through it.

9. Dry Clean Only - if going to the cleaners isn't your thing, then check the washing tags. That said, I've bought a gajillion Dry Clean Only sweaters over the years, and I ALWAYS hand-wash them in the sink without any problems. It might be worth the $4 risk! (I wrote a post about how to hand-wash your Dry Clean Only sweaters HERE if you want to check it out.)

10. Brand - it's simple. Higher quality items *tend* to have a greater shelf life than lower quality items. In other words, a pair of cheap jeans will probably fade, stretch, or lose their shape sooner than a pair of higher quality jeans. When I thrift, I stick to the better labels because the product has already lived a life in someone's closet, and I'm trying to get a second life out of it.

This is a pretty good list here, if you don't mind me saying. Because gals, I've bought SO MANY items in the past, thinking I scored BIG TIME, only to find out when I got home that whoops, there was a legit REASON why that thing was donated in the first place!!

I mean, just last week I bought a shirt (below) that I LOVE... and didn't notice that the fabric was pulled in the back right around the arm holes.  Major bummer.  Except, I love the shirt so damn much, I'm gonna wear it anyway!  The color is PERFECT for me (I didn't even need my daily-blush!), but that's a whole 'nother post for another day.  ;)

Spread this list far and wide my friends. Thrifting is FUN, and you can score some real deals. Plus, it's a way to shop shop SHOP sans guilt because it's good for the environment, it supports a local non-profit AND it's wicked cheap!!

xo Stasia

The 4 Things I Learned When I Went Bathing Suit Shopping

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UPDATE 3/2/20 - I wrote this post nearly 5 years ago, and at the time, buying a full-coverage tankini was a HUGE victory for me. I was making progress, but as you’ll see, my body shame RAN DEEP. I have decided to INTENTIONALLY KEEP that body shaming language in this post because I think it serves as a historical record of MY OWN GROWTH. I wasn’t born loving my body. I’ve had to work like hell for it. And this… this serves as a reminder that if you DECIDE to stop believing the bullshit lies that tell you your body is not a good body, over the course of 5 years, YOU CAN ACTUALLY CHANGE HOW YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR BODY. Because HERE, HERE and HERE are some posts I wrote more recently that speak to WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW, and wow, what a difference!

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Let me start by saying this... the VERY last time I went bathing suit shopping was in November 2005. It's been almost 10 years. I remember that shopping trip well. My husband and I had just finished our Peace Corps service in Moldova, and we had taken a 3-week post-service vacation to Thailand on our way back to the States. We explored the wats in Bangkok, trekked through the jungle in Chiang Mai, and then headed south to Phuket and the island of Ko Phi Phi Don for a week of snorkeling and sunbathing.

I didn't have a bathing suit when we arrived in Phuket, and I knew I needed one, so I went shopping. I remember walking into a bathing suit store, feeling a little apprehensive as one does when shopping in a foreign country where you don't speak the language. Almost immediately a Thai woman approached me and said, "We no have something for you. You too fat."

She didn't just SAY I was too fat once, she said it OVER and OVER and OVER again, AND then she pointed at my butt and used expressive hand motions to emphasize the point.

"TOO FAT."

I left the store in tears.

In retrospect, I know things were a wee bit "lost in translation" and I don't hold any grudges. But I do remember the shame.

Me and my fat American ass (I'm kidding!) did eventually find a bathing suit, but it was THE LAST TIME I went bathing suit shopping, until just a couple of days ago.

And just for reference, this is the suit I ended up buying, and this is what my body looked like at the time…

I'm not saying I haven't worn a bathing suit since then... sure I've patched tops and bottoms together over the years, but never in a way that made me feel good. They were hand-me-downs or thrifted good-enough tops and bottoms.

This year I said NO WAY. Because I will NOT spend another summer at the beach with my kids, pretending that "it's not really hot enough for mama to swim", just so I can stay safe tucked in my beach chair where nobody can see me in my suit.

NO MORE!

So I went for it... I went bathing suit shopping. And here's what I learned.

1. I didn't go BATHING SUIT SHOPPING. I went on a FREEDOM EXPEDITION.

Yes, I reframed the experience so it made more sense.

Let me ask you this... How much money would you PAY a fairy godmother to give you the freedom to run, play and swim with your kids at the beach for an entire summer without all the self-conscious body-image-baggage we so often carry with us?

Me, I'd pay AT LEAST $5000 for an entire summer's worth of THAT kind of freedom and fun with my kids!

This reframe benefited me BIG TIME in two ways:

1. I knew that no bathing suit I'd ever look at would cost $500, so no matter what I spent, I knew I'd be getting one hell of deal. Spending REAL MONEY ON SOMETHING NEW became a non-issue for this thrifter, because I was buying something far more precious than simply a swimsuit. I was buying FREEDOM from body shame.

2. Because I was gearing up for a FREEDOM EXPEDITION, I prepped and planned like any good expeditioner would.

2. Prepping for my FREEDOM EXPEDITION was KEY to my success.

I didn't just hop in the car and go shopping willy-nilly. I planned. Because I knew that walking into the store FEELING GOOD and with the right attitude would be the key to my success.

So here's what I did before I left:

• I gave myself a hot pink mani/pedi.

• I waxed my legs, bikini line and pits using THIS DIY sugar wax recipe.

• I put on a dress that made me feel strong and athletic.

• I OF COURSE wore red lipstick and an extra swoosh of blush to give myself some extra color, knowing I'd be under those awful florescent color-sucking lights.

• I wore the shoes I'd likely wear with my bathing suit (chaco sandals), so I'd have on the full beach outfit.

• I decorated adorned and embellished what I LOVE about my body because let's face it, you can't hide much in a bathing suit! Translation - I wore earrings, a couple of necklaces and a scarf because when I looked in the mirror, I wanted to recognize my beauty, and not be swept away by my “perceived imperfections”.

• I made sure I ate just enough food to be satiated (and not hangry) but not over-stuffed.

3. Pre-selecting my FREEDOM EXPEDITION DESTINATION increased my chances of finding THE PERFECT SUIT!

Before I left on my FREEDOM EXPEDITION, I shopped online, and figured out which stores I wanted to visit. I know my body, so I had a good idea as to what styles would and wouldn't work on my figure, so I looked for stores that sold suits that I thought would fit to flatter. I also knew I wanted something that made me feel strong, capable, confident, and playful, so that also influenced WHERE I looked.

(For example, most of the suits at J.Crew were too itty bitty, sleek and sexy for me, but the suits at Athleta had more coverage and a sporty look. In the end, I narrowed down my search to Athleta and Patagonia.)

4. Lipstick will only get you so far... A GOOD ATTITUDE IS KEY!

When I walked into the Athleta store, the ENTIRE STAFF was wearing spandex. Every single gal was in her early 20's and had buns of steel. I got a little bit freaked out when I walked in the door, but quickly gave myself a little pep talk and started filling me arms with suits.

When I hit the fitting room, I told the staff girls that I was on a FREEDOM EXPEDITION, and that I needed their help. No fake "that looks good on you" comments allowed. Humor absolutely necessary.

Some of the suits I tried looked terrible, and made both me and the staff girls a little cross-eyed. Some I couldn't figure out how to get into (and needed to ask for help). Sometimes an Extra-Small was too big and a Medium was too small.

I tried on so many suits I starting to get a kink in my neck!

But I did it. I found the PERFECT SUIT! 

No, it doesn't make my body look like it did when I was 22. No, I don't look all sleek and sexy... but that wasn't my goal. I wasn't looking for a magic eraser pencil. (And though the temptation is here to use my little editing tool to smooth out my thighs, I didn't.)

Here's why I selected THIS SUIT:

1. The black bottoms were just long enough to cover my hips (my pain point), and we all know that black slenderizes so it was my top choice for color!

2. The "busy" top draws the eyes UP because it is more visually interesting than the bottom. And gals, I want the eyes UP!!!

3. The horizontal stripes on the top trick the eye into thinking my upper body is wider than it is, which is GREAT because it balances out my hips.

4. All the detail on the back of the suit ONCE AGAIN naturally brings the eyes UP, and away from my butt and thighs.

All in all, the suit cost me just over $100. That's a lot of money for me - the girl who thrifts EVERYTHING - but again, the price tag didn't matter because the suit was simply my vehicle to FREEDOM + FUN WITH MY KIDS.

In the last few days, I've talked to quite a few women about my expedition, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM said to me, I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WENT BATHING SUIT SHOPPING!!

Listen gals, it' doesn't need to be scary. I actually had FUN!! I even treated myself to Ben & Jerry's after my expedition! You just need the right tools in your tool box.

If you don't feel like you've got the tools in your toolbox to KNOW what silhouettes work on your body type, then girl, you've got to join Stasia's Style School!! By the end of the course you'll have the skills, courage and confidence to embark on your own FREEDOM EXPEDITION, and come home victorious!

xo Stasia

What's more important? Comfort or Style?

When you get dressed in the morning, do you opt for COMFORT over STYLE? Do you feel like it's a one-or-the-other, take-it-or-leave-it ultimatum? If you do, you're not alone. Because this is the ONE THING I hear over and over again from women young and old!  "But I like to be comfortable, Stasia!" has become the anthem of a Brothers Grimm-like story, where style becomes the petty, shallow, yellow-eyed wild thing, and comfort the noble warrior with sense and sensibility.

But if you ask me, the idea of having to sacrifice style for comfort is hogwash. Total hogwash.

And I think you'd agree, too, if we used a healthier more holistic interpretation of the word "style".

In my mind, style does NOT mean fancy or trendy or fashionable.

When I think about MY style or YOUR style, I think about it as a reflection of ME or YOU.

So when I get dressed in ANYTHING, from my pjs to my little black dress, from comfortable to chic, I can choose clothing that is a reflection of me - aka: MY STYLE.

Something that is MY STYLE makes me feel good. Not plain-faced "good" - but wild-eyed "good". The kind of "good" that makes you run faster and jump higher.

I can feel that kind of good in fancy dresses, or jeans and a tank top. As long as they are a reflection of ME on the inside, then I feel "stylish".

This is where YOUR work comes in. You've got to KNOW what makes you feel good, and you MUST stop using "comfort" as your "good" gauge.

Let me give you an example:

Me: How do you feel in those jeans? Gal: Good. They are super comfortable. Me: Yes, but how do you FEEL? Gal: I feel comfortable. Me: No, that's not what I mean. How do you FEEEEEEEEEEL... On the inside? Gal: I don't know, fine I guess. They are so broken in and soft. Me: Do you feel Beautiful? Powerful? Strong? Confident? Fun? Dynamic? Creative? Abundant? Courgageous???? Gal: Oh God no. I just feel comfortable... I know they are not flattering and they are all stretched out, but they are so soft!! They give me muffin top a little bit so I feel kind of fat in them, and they make my butt look HUGE, but other than that... (pause) Wait a second - these look terrible. I feel terrible in them. I guess because I've had them for so long, I thought they were comfortable.  I mean they ARE comfortable, but I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THEM AT ALL. I feel self conscious and fat and like I have a big butt. THAT'S not good. Me: TAKE THEM OFF AND NEVER PUT THEM BACK ON YOUR BODY AGAIN!!

Sometimes it takes work to break the habit of being "comfortable" as a gauge for feeling good. I see it all the time! (I can't tell you how many time a woman's FAVORITE pair of jeans have ended up in the get-rid-of-it pile during a closet consultation because they were using "comfortable" as the only/exclusive parameter for "favorite"!!)

But it doesn't need to be that way.

Take yesterday... I wanted to be comfortable, because I knew I had a busy day ahead of me. So I wore jeans, a tank top, a knit cardigan and a pair of sneakers.

But not just any jeans, tank, cardi and sneaker combo. I wore the "Stasia's Style" variety...

I chose jeans that fit me perfectly. My tank had a sparkly band of sequins around the neckline, the cardi was unique in texture and style, and the sneakers were hip and fun. I added on a bold necklace, a nice pair of earrings and some red lipstick, and voila - TOTALLY COMFORTABLE and completely stylish... because I FELT GOOD. And by good I mean creative, fun, courageous, bold and youthful.

I felt good hanging my laundry on the clothes line. I felt good hauling brush, pruning trees, and starting a bonfire in the yard with my kids after school. I felt good talking to the women's chorus about the importance of discovering your own personal style, and presenting your YOU-NESS on the outside, even as Vermonters!

Once you know YOUR STYLE, you should never have to swap out style for anything. You can be stylish in your garden, at a party, on a mountain top, at a campground, playing on the floor with your kids, at work... ANYWHERE!

If somebody were to ask you... What's YOUR style? Your answer should be... A reflection of ME.

Once you understand this concept, you'll never use comfort as an "excuse" to be frumpy or schleppy again. There's no need for it.

You can choose to be warm and stylish. You can choose to be comfortable and stylish. You can choose to be active and stylish. You can choose to play with your kids and BE STYLISH. Because STYLE is something that makes you feel good, and is a reflection of YOU.

If you are ready to abandon the concept that comfort and style are two mutually exclusive entities, then now's the time to think about joining Stasia's Style School, because we'll DIVE DEEP into discovering YOUR personal style, so you never have to chose comfort over style EVER AGAIN!!

xo Stasia