When you get dressed in the morning, do you opt for COMFORT over STYLE? Do you feel like it's a one-or-the-other, take-it-or-leave-it ultimatum? If you do, you're not alone. Because this is the ONE THING I hear over and over again from women young and old! "But I like to be comfortable, Stasia!" has become the anthem of a Brothers Grimm-like story, where style becomes the petty, shallow, yellow-eyed wild thing, and comfort the noble warrior with sense and sensibility.
But if you ask me, the idea of having to sacrifice style for comfort is hogwash. Total hogwash.
And I think you'd agree, too, if we used a healthier more holistic interpretation of the word "style".
In my mind, style does NOT mean fancy or trendy or fashionable.
When I think about MY style or YOUR style, I think about it as a reflection of ME or YOU.
So when I get dressed in ANYTHING, from my pjs to my little black dress, from comfortable to chic, I can choose clothing that is a reflection of me - aka: MY STYLE.
Something that is MY STYLE makes me feel good. Not plain-faced "good" - but wild-eyed "good". The kind of "good" that makes you run faster and jump higher.
I can feel that kind of good in fancy dresses, or jeans and a tank top. As long as they are a reflection of ME on the inside, then I feel "stylish".
This is where YOUR work comes in. You've got to KNOW what makes you feel good, and you MUST stop using "comfort" as your "good" gauge.
Let me give you an example:
Me: How do you feel in those jeans? Gal: Good. They are super comfortable. Me: Yes, but how do you FEEL? Gal: I feel comfortable. Me: No, that's not what I mean. How do you FEEEEEEEEEEL... On the inside? Gal: I don't know, fine I guess. They are so broken in and soft. Me: Do you feel Beautiful? Powerful? Strong? Confident? Fun? Dynamic? Creative? Abundant? Courgageous???? Gal: Oh God no. I just feel comfortable... I know they are not flattering and they are all stretched out, but they are so soft!! They give me muffin top a little bit so I feel kind of fat in them, and they make my butt look HUGE, but other than that... (pause) Wait a second - these look terrible. I feel terrible in them. I guess because I've had them for so long, I thought they were comfortable. I mean they ARE comfortable, but I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THEM AT ALL. I feel self conscious and fat and like I have a big butt. THAT'S not good. Me: TAKE THEM OFF AND NEVER PUT THEM BACK ON YOUR BODY AGAIN!!
Sometimes it takes work to break the habit of being "comfortable" as a gauge for feeling good. I see it all the time! (I can't tell you how many time a woman's FAVORITE pair of jeans have ended up in the get-rid-of-it pile during a closet consultation because they were using "comfortable" as the only/exclusive parameter for "favorite"!!)
But it doesn't need to be that way.
Take yesterday... I wanted to be comfortable, because I knew I had a busy day ahead of me. So I wore jeans, a tank top, a knit cardigan and a pair of sneakers.
But not just any jeans, tank, cardi and sneaker combo. I wore the "Stasia's Style" variety...
I chose jeans that fit me perfectly. My tank had a sparkly band of sequins around the neckline, the cardi was unique in texture and style, and the sneakers were hip and fun. I added on a bold necklace, a nice pair of earrings and some red lipstick, and voila - TOTALLY COMFORTABLE and completely stylish... because I FELT GOOD. And by good I mean creative, fun, courageous, bold and youthful.
I felt good on my Skype style coaching call. I felt good hanging my laundry on the clothes line. I felt good hauling brush, pruning trees, and starting a bonfire in the yard with my kids after school. I felt good talking to the women's chorus about the importance of discovering your own personal style, and presenting your YOU-NESS on the outside, even as Vermonters!
Once you know YOUR STYLE, you should never have to swap out style for anything. You can be stylish in your garden, at a party, on a mountain top, at a campground, playing on the floor with your kids, at work... ANYWHERE!
If somebody were to ask you... What's YOUR style? Your answer should be... A reflection of ME.
Once you understand this concept, you'll never use comfort as an "excuse" to be frumpy or schleppy again. There's no need for it.
You can choose to be warm and stylish. You can choose to be comfortable and stylish. You can choose to be active and stylish. You can choose to play with your kids and BE STYLISH. Because STYLE is something that makes you feel good, and is a reflection of YOU.
If you are ready to abandon the concept that comfort and style are two mutually exclusive entities, then now's the time to think about joining Stasia's Style School, because we'll DIVE DEEP into discovering YOUR personal style, so you never have to chose comfort over style EVER AGAIN!!
Right now, the price for Stasia's Style School is only $149, but will go up to $199 next week! Don't sit around pondering this leap for too long... it'll just make you crazy! Do it, and then revel in the joy of knowing a NEW YOU is about to emerge!
With Kindness + Courage, xo Stasia