I’ll do it myself.I can handle it. I don’t need any help. I’m fine!
When was the last time you spewed those untrue words into the air, laced with sarcasm, sadness and overwhelm, when all you really needed was a little help, thankyouverymuch.
Me, I’ve used them one million times, EVEN when I was at my wits end, hardly able to hold on, and at the precipice of emotional disaster.
I CAN DO IT MYSELF!
When really, I can’t. I can’t do it ALL, all by myself. Not in parenting, and certainly NOT in starting/running my business.
I’m realizing more and more that I’m not alone either.
When I first became a mama, I had this notion that I was supposed to do it all by myself, without whining or complaining. Nevermind that I was getting my daughter to 4 - 9 doctor’s appointments a week, navigating my new role as a mama to a sweet baby girl whose life depended on my unrelenting attention, devotion and care (x 10) because of her “special needs”.
I CAN DO IT MYSELF.
When I look back, I wonder how I survived. I had many’a full blown drop-to-the-floor collapses, mostly during visits to Children’s Hospital Boston.
I CAN DO IT MYSELF.
And so it’s been… if I can do THAT by myself, I can do ANYTHING by myself.
Maybe. But what the hell kind of lonely worn-out existence is THAT?
Since starting Thrift Me Pretty, I’ve become acutely aware that there is A LOT I don’t know, and that there is only so much I can do in a day.
As a momma, I thought I SHOULD know how to do it all - without sleep... because you know, 1 bajillion women have done this before me.
Listen, I’ve got the drive, the passion, and the fire to drive my dream to the moon, but what I don’t have are 36 hour days and a whole lotta technical know-how.
There are problems and blocks that I encounter that send me into what I like to call “progress paralysis”. And when I’m stuck, I perseverate. And when I perseverate, I absolutely can’t move forward. And when I can’t move forward, I feel hopeless. And when I feel hopeless, I’m a soul sucking pain in the ass. :) Sometimes, even lipstick can’t pull me out of THAT rut!
MY SECRET WEAPON
In the last few months, I’ve discovered a secret weapon, and I’d feel remiss if I didn’t share it with you.
Ready for it…. My secret weapon is YOU!
Us. We. Women.
[lightbox title="LightboxTitle" url="PageURL" width="900" height="500"]We’ve fallen into an insular world of ME and must adopt a cosmopolitan world of WE if we are to prosper.[/lightbox]
We MUST support each other. We MUST stop saying, “I can do it all by myself” when in fact, we can’t (in a way that’s healthy/wise/fruitful). We MUST stop perseverating on our problems, and instead share our stuck-ness with others in hopes of gaining and garnering perspective.
No more commiserating. Let’s change the conversation to this instead:
I’M STUCK. I NEED HELP. CAN YOU HELP ME?
This could look like one million things: a ride, a meal, a dollar, a brainstorming session, a pep talk, a perspective shift, a kick in the shins, a piece of chocolate, a nap, a night out, an opinion.
Whatever it is. Recognize it. Name it. And then ASK FOR HELP.
MY COSMO WORLD OF WE
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve conversed, collaborated, supported and/or gained insight and perspective from a number of whip smart ladies regarding life and biz. Let me introduce you to just a few:
Trisha from Eat Your Beets - food photographer, instagram icon, and paleo expert. Her beauty, grace, charisma and hustle inspired me to take action and get moving! And she loves bacon, so there's that.
Megan from Megan Auman - metalsmith, jeweler, designer, artist, and creator of an incredible line of artisanal products, not to mention the brains behind Designing an MBA. She took a look at my social media strategy and came up with a loose plan for me in less than 2.5 seconds. This girl GOT me.
Jane from To The Market - CEO and FOUNDER of To The Market, a social enterprise focused on the promotion of goods made by survivors of conflict, abuse, and disease. Jane came up with more webinar topics for me in 3 minutes then I’ve come up with in 3 months! She’s brilliant, with a resume that’ll blow your socks off.
Cyndie from The Collective [of Us] - a kick-ass business consultant who runs a magnificent on-line collective of women who are looking to build and grow their businesses through community, coaching, strategy and peer-to-peer support. Cyndie gave me the kick-in-the-ass I needed to “get shit done” and stop whining about why it’s so damn hard to run a style biz from Vermont! If you need some “collective” love, this gang is for you! She’s re-launching The Collective [of us] RIGHT NOW so if you’ve got dreams and want to be part of something HUGE, check this girl out!!
Lottie from Lottie Ryan - this girl has been surviving with chronic illness for 17 years (!!), but instead of feeling all sad and sorry for herself, she’s started a biz to encourage, motivate and inspire others who also life with chronic illness. And, she’s a pinup model! Lottie has convinced me to submit an article to the HuffPost for publication. Eek!
Nic from NicRoc Designs - a cellular molecular biologist turned kick-ass graphic designer with a penchant for telling stories through color, shape, texture, font and intuitive brilliance. I’ll let you imagine where that’s going!!
And not to mention the insight and support I’ve received regarding my rebranding efforts from YOU fine ladies: Diane P., Rachel R., Laura B., Lisa M., Philippa F., Hannah C., Patty S., Sara H. (all the way from Moldova!!), Julie L., Tami H. and Stephanie P. And all the lovely I-want-to-see-you-FLY fans of Thrift Me Pretty that in the last couple of weeks have offered up invaluable leads, likes and love: Eileen N., Lisa D., Lisa R., Angie A., Joanna R., Desha P., Becky G. and Lizi R.! Oh geez, who am I forgetting?!
You get the picture, right? We MUST work together, to lift each other up!! I use my strength to LIFT YOU UP. I provide great (funny free and educational) content on my blog and in my newsletter; I provide outfit inspiration on my Facebook and Instagram account; AND I provide kick-ass one-on-one services, both in person and virtually, that will take you, your confidence, and your personal style TO THE NEXT LEVEL!!!
And I've got MOOOOORE in the wings for you! Think weekly 3-minute-ish video tutorials, webinars, AND an actual honest-to-goodness soup-to-nuts style course!! Oh gosh... I'm so excited. And oh gosh, I'm gonna need your help! YOU ARE MY COSMO WORLD OF WE!!
As usual, drop a comment on the blog, and tell me what you'd like to see from TMP! What do you want to know? And tell me how you're using your network to LIFT YOU UP!!
With so much love and gratitude it makes my hands shake, xo [lightbox title="LightboxTitle" url="PageURL" width="900" height="500"]Stasia[/lightbox]